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[ Call me Arthur is right there on the tip of his tongue, but for now, while the muddle through this, he closes his mouth against it. Starts, stops, tries again. ]
I... suppose I'm only trying to be mindful of your history in this place, and your feelings.
I... suppose I'm only trying to be mindful of your history in this place, and your feelings.
[ she can see Wei Wuxian's face very clearly: If that's what you wish, then, Ms Vaux. and she's going to keep seeing it very clearly, because that had been her attempt at being mindful, and responsible, and unselfish, and it really, really didn't feel as good and right as she'd wanted it to. needed it to. and she's taken two men to bed since, on the same day, with very little consideration for their feelings in the aftermath, because it was just for bingo, right? just a pressure release.
except it turns out you can't just do that all while expecting for nothing to change. for nothing to get... fraught.
she turns and spends, like, way too long picking out a cupcake for it to be real deliberation and not a delay tactic. shit. can't think of anything. ]
Too kind of you. You are good man. [ that seems safe, and indeed necessary, to say ] You are too considerate of this burden I placed on you to fix.
except it turns out you can't just do that all while expecting for nothing to change. for nothing to get... fraught.
she turns and spends, like, way too long picking out a cupcake for it to be real deliberation and not a delay tactic. shit. can't think of anything. ]
Too kind of you. You are good man. [ that seems safe, and indeed necessary, to say ] You are too considerate of this burden I placed on you to fix.
[ It's plainly obvious that she's stalling, and he feels something in his chest sink as he watches her. His ears drift back ever so slightly, but he forces them to stand upright before she can turn to see. ]
'Tis no burden that needs fixing, Ms. Vaux, but it is something I wish to handle with care. I do like you. I find you a remarkable woman, one whom I would love to speak to more, to learn from, and about, but I dare not ask you for more than you are willing to give.
'Tis no burden that needs fixing, Ms. Vaux, but it is something I wish to handle with care. I do like you. I find you a remarkable woman, one whom I would love to speak to more, to learn from, and about, but I dare not ask you for more than you are willing to give.
[ just please do not end up in solitary, she thinks. Mammon, accept this greed: please. don't let him go to solitary. ]
I never seem to give right thing.
I never seem to give right thing.
[ He's quiet, watching her, but gods, the desire to reach for her is so terribly strong. He has to still his hands lest he ruin this fragile thing dancing between them. ]
... What do you mean?
... What do you mean?
Hah! I have been terrible lover in past, and poor friend.
You have been a good friend to me ever since I arrived. I see, also, the way you care for your team.
[ He tilts his head, tries for a smile. It's a small thing, though no less genuine for it. ]
Perhaps you were terrible at this once, but people do change. We are scholars, are we not? What, then, is a little more learning?
[ He tilts his head, tries for a smile. It's a small thing, though no less genuine for it. ]
Perhaps you were terrible at this once, but people do change. We are scholars, are we not? What, then, is a little more learning?
[ she fights the instinctive need to deny it, to say she isn't nice, say that it's only because her other passions have been wrenched from her that she bothered to start giving anyone the time of day.
he's reached out to her with the one question that can pierce through that uncertainty. they're scholars. this is another thing to learn. feeling herself dangerously close to tearing up, she brings a cupcake to her lips and takes a bite. ]
...'s good.
he's reached out to her with the one question that can pierce through that uncertainty. they're scholars. this is another thing to learn. feeling herself dangerously close to tearing up, she brings a cupcake to her lips and takes a bite. ]
...'s good.
[ That was abrupt?? He can only hope that he's managed to strike at the heart of something for her to suddenly switch tracks like that. He'll let it slide.
For now. ]
I'm glad you think so. 'Twas my first attempt at baking.
For now. ]
I'm glad you think so. 'Twas my first attempt at baking.
[ time will tell, Arthur. ]
Difficult to go wrong with chocolate. I will take some home.
Difficult to go wrong with chocolate. I will take some home.
So I've been told.
I can prepare a plate for you, if you like.
I can prepare a plate for you, if you like.
Of course.
[ He moves pat her to rummage around in the cabinets for a plate. ]
... You're welcome to stay longer, of course. I could put some tea on.
[ He moves pat her to rummage around in the cabinets for a plate. ]
... You're welcome to stay longer, of course. I could put some tea on.
[ A smile. He sets the plate on the table, motioning for her to have a seat. ]
I'll put the kettle on, then. Have you a preference?
I'll put the kettle on, then. Have you a preference?
[ she doesn't sit, but steps a little closer to him. something's changed between them, she thinks, even now.
quiet, hopeful note: ] Bergamot?
quiet, hopeful note: ] Bergamot?
Certainly. You have good taste.
[ That's one of his favorites, actually. He turns to reach for another cupboard but stops short when she closes the distance between them. It's a small step, though something about it feels significant. ]
Sprezzatura?
[ That's one of his favorites, actually. He turns to reach for another cupboard but stops short when she closes the distance between them. It's a small step, though something about it feels significant. ]
Sprezzatura?
[ toss aside dignity, Sprezzatura. ]
Mister Inkwell... Would you hug me?
Mister Inkwell... Would you hug me?
For your bingo card-?
[ do not be disappointed do not be disappointed do not--- ]
[ do not be disappointed do not be disappointed do not--- ]
[ No.
She scarce gets the word out in that broken tone of voice and he's right there, looping his arms around her to pull her close. ]
I'm sorry. It should not have mattered why you asked.
She scarce gets the word out in that broken tone of voice and he's right there, looping his arms around her to pull her close. ]
I'm sorry. It should not have mattered why you asked.
[ ... presses her forehead so gently into his chest ]
I have not been smart, Mister Inkwell.
I have not been smart, Mister Inkwell.
[ He lifts a hand, gently combing his fingers through her hair. ]
Do you... want to talk about it?
Do you... want to talk about it?
[ VERY MUCH SHE DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. shivering noticeably when he combs through her hair ]
Can't sleep.
Can't sleep.
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